Nail Files "The Queen of Nails" Breakdown

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Tonight was the premier episode of Nail Files, the original reality series about the Painted Nail with Katie Cazorla.  I didn't think I was going to be home during the airing, so I set my DVR to "record series", and went off with my happy self.

I realized later that Katie was live tweeting during the show (PS: She's giving away a prize pack! What am I talk about, she's giving away a LOT of prize packs!  I won one the other day!).

Each show is 30 minutes long and it's not just the nails, but all of the awesomeness that Katie is going through as a small business owner in Los Angeles.

I am obsessed with most reality shows, hilariously enough - Jersey Shore is definitely included, and the producer, Sally Ann Salsano, created Nail Files.  Automatically, I knew I was really going to love it.

Okay, so the show starts with an f-bomb.  Can we say win?  Then Katie is rolling down the street in a Smart car.  When I was in Europe in 2005, I first saw the smart fortwo and I swore I was going to get one of those cars in the States.  Well, now it's 2011 and I drive a huge extended cab, extended bed Toyota Tundra (with towing package).  Sigh.  But I live in Texas and I own a metal building business, so that's my excuse (and random Krystal trivia).

Next we meet Nichole, Manager of the Painted Nail.  While her hair changes quite a bit in this episode, I just have to point out that I love the purple.  I think I counted about 4 different hair changes for her!

By the way, purple is ALL OVER the salon, mind you.  The walls, the curtains, the trim, the accent throws... ahh!  What's my favorite color?  OH YES, PURPLE.  Additionally, there is a clothing boutique next door and they do hair and makeup.  (And give away cocktails/wine with your mani-pedi... yum.)

Hold up, Debbie Gibson just walked in - and Katie drops "Holy shizballs."  More win.  Seriously.  Win.

So following in the wave of Deborah Lippmann, Katie is having celebrity help with her polishes.  While Deborah creates polishes with or inspired by celebrities and her polishes are the names of songs, Katie just flat out says "Hey, want to help me name this?"  (And thus Electric Blue was born which I don't currently see in her shop but I'll find out what's up, somehow.)

Ralina, Katie's Publicist calls to let Katie know that she's going to host the gifting suite at Sundance.  Becky, Katie's Assistant is put on a whirlwind of getting tickets, scheduling, etc etc - while Katie playfully chomps on chips in her ear.  Poor Becky ends up confused (I guess) because Katie ends up having to book her hotel herself and everyone is booked.  She does end up getting a condo (for a cool $2k, hah).  Also, can I mention that it's hilarious that above their heads is a sign that says "Keep Calm and Have a Cupcake"?  Becky also has to get Katie's 200 polishes picked up to fly out but Becky is having some math issues and a few more scheduling issues as far as Katie's displays are concerned.

On to Jessica.  Okay.  So while the laugh is SUPER annoying (and Katie's parody of it did have me laughing quite a bit), the fact that this girl didn't write anything down, and was promising things that this chick knows won't happen in a day (at least it would never happen where I live...), just screamed "THIS IS GOING TO GO WRONG."  Displays with 3D pop outs for SUNDANCE in 24 hours?  And then Jessica ends up with backwards displays?  Seriously?  How do you NOT know how a nail polish rack works?  I mean, granted, the first time I tried, I didn't get it either originally (just like Katie) but it took me a whole 5 seconds to say "Oh, I have it upside down, hah."  Not to mention that her lateness keeps Katie from her romantic dinner with her fiancĂ©, Walter.

A little into Katie's home life, where you meet said Walter, a song writer and record producer.  (Another Krystal trivia moment: I used to be a radio personality.)  That studio is uh-mazing, by the way.  (And props to the lava lamp in the corner.)  While Walter is not able to go to Sundance with Katie, she is able to take Amy, one of her best friends.

Katie is having some issues with her signage.  Her labels are off - the hair is more yellow and the skin is a brown tint (a crack about Jersey Shore is made).  All her displays are backwards.  It's not 3-D like she asked.  But Walter puts everything into perspective and lets her know that only she knows it's a problem, and she just has to rock it.

I also work for a company in California, and driving in CA is absolutely scary for me.  Katie gets a driver who is driving on the wrong side of the road and misses their exit.  Katie calls 911 (no joke) because at this point, it's dangerous.  Swirling, not listening, missing exits - will they make in time?

This season looks amazing.  Drama, nail polish, and Katie is an absolute gem.  I can't wait to see what else is coming.

Nail Files airs on the TV Guide Network Tuesdays at 10/9c.